Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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