just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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