I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
