Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
