i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
