With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
