Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
