why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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