I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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