she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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