My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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