so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize