As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize