there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
