i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
