what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
