I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
