Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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