I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
