Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
