dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
