and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
