My nipple is on Facebook.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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