I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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