sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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