I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
