Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
