I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
