i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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