Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
