You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
