I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
