If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
