Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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