I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
