Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I could fuck to npr.
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