A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
