Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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