when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
