its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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