Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
