just come out here and I will go home with you...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize