It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
