I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
