i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
