so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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