I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
