He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
