So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
