i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
there is glitter all over my balls
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