You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
