Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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