My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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