walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize