Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
