i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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