I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The beer is more important than you right now.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
