The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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