In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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